A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
