Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.