I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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