Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
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She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
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i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.