Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?