this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me