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Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
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