Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
