it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
