It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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