i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
