I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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