My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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