Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
