I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
