he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize