You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, beer. Big fan.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
