Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
