Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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