So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
