Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
