she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
