On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
