Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
