Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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