I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
How's work?
Spinning.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I wish there were birth control emojis
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
