This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize