hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
