and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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