week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
God I need to hump something, right now.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
