Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize