I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
