look no pants
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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