there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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