so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
