What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Farmville is her only friend.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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