What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I wish there were birth control emojis
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize