Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
