If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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