You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
