I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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