i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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