Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
