so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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