sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
