Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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