I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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