There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
