what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize
