It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
