i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
