Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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