If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
