dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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