I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
