i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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