I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
