I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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