So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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