just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
