I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
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over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
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I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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