we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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