There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
