Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
