watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
