Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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